"After being alive for 30 years and experiencing so much." I hear you say, "Surely Simon must win sometimes." You'd think so wouldn't you? Well we have
been presented with some photographic evidence that seems to suggest he has, on occasion, not been a loser. Let's take a closer look...
Photographic Evidence - Article 001: Simon Celebrating.
Now we all know Simon love's the number 22. He tried for years to resist its irresistible charms but could resist no more several years ago when
he joined Catch 22 at Rimini. This photo is taken from this year's competition where Catch 22 made the semi final, it was taken at dinner and looks like it shows Simon finally winning, he is celebrating after all.
But wait. Something's not right. If you look closely at the man just in shot on the left it almost looks like he's laughing at our Simon. And that face Simon's making, is it celebration or a grimace? Thanks to a rigorous investigation I can reveal that Simon had just lost credit card roulette for everyone’s dinner. Not winning after all.
Photographic Evidence - Article 002: Simon with friends.
This one is too easy. You can clearly see Simon has never seen these people before in his life. My guess is that he has gone to the nearest asylum and paid a hard up
nurse 20 quid to borrow a couple of special people. I mean look at them. From the look on Simon's face he clearly can't stand to be around them any longer, he looks terrified! Now I may be completely wrong
but if I am, they are having much more fun than Simon and therefore he is still clearly a loser.
Photographic Evidence - Article 003: Simon the Clapham Legend.
The final piece of evidence. Simon has been playing ultimate for 11 years now and has played for such esteemed clubs as Chevron Action Flash and Catch 22. He also has a dark past having played for the evil, purple Druids and now plays
for the London based UK Champions Clapham Ultimate. So this makes him a winner, right? Well I guess it may do. But he can't even get his pose right. When the rest of his team were making a "W" for Winner sign, all Simon could manage was an "L" for loser. Old habits die hard I guess.
Despite the reams and reams of evidence, I think I can stop there. Case closed.
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